Halfway Back to Real Life (Part 2)

Today is a big day - for the first time in the history of this blog, I am physically typing these words onto this page. No one is more grateful than my beautiful scribe Sallie- for 9 months she has taken my handwritten letters, scrubbed them for inappropriate content and typed them up for me...she was happy to turn things over to me...

WOW! What a crazy couple of weeks! As I sit in my office typing it's all still a bit dreamy - hard to believe that I'm at least halfway back to what I remember life being like. I have absolutely loved being back around my family and loved ones. The halfway house is located about 15 miles from our home. I have such mixed feelings about being so close to them. On one hand, it is such a beautiful miracle that I am where I am - after having only been in prison for 8.5 months. It was such a cold, dreary, hopeless day back in January when the judge told us that I was going away for 5 years. The part of this that I wasn't expecting was how hard it is being so close to my family and not being able to go home to them.

Early on in my incarceration, my good friend Brandon Stokey gave me some very good advice, "never, ever, ever, believe what other inmates tell you". This advice came in handy during so many different circumstances over the past 9 months. But for some reason, once I found out that I was being transferred to the halfway house, I completely forgot about this advice. For the days leading up to me leaving Rifle, so many inmates weighed in to tell me what to expect at the halfway house. I had so many questions about what the program was like, what the rules were, what the food was like, etc...and just about everything that I was told by my astute colleagues was wrong. How did I ever forget what Stokey had told me?

Here is a quick list of the expectations that I had coming into this past week vs. (the reality)-

1. You will be locked down for 24 hours and then you are free to leave the facility with permission. (You are locked down for the first 5 days with the exception of being able to make one trip to Walmart for hygiene supplies)
2. There is a matrix progression system that will allow you to graduate to living at your own home with an ankle monitor within 90 days. (The matrix system essentially takes 6 months before you can qualify to move home with an ankle monitor)
3. You'll be able to go and visit your family as soon as you have a job (You are not allowed out of the house for anything other than work for the first 8 weeks. After those 8 weeks, based on your progression through the program you can get 20, 30 or 40 hours per week of leisure time to spend however you want)
4. You'll be able to attend church whenever you want - it's against the law for them to not let you attend church (You can't attend church until after the 8 weeks is up and it will count as leisure time)
5. You'll be able to go to the gym anytime you want (Once again, you can't go to the gym until after the 8 weeks are up)
6. Your family can visit you anytime they want (Adults can schedule 1 hour visits to come and see you but because there are sex offenders who live at the halfway house, minors are not allowed)
7. The food sucks (The food isn't any better or worse than prison food)

Those are some of the major misconceptions that I had coming into last week - I'm positive there were many more. 

As I mentioned in my last post, the halfway house reminds me of a small hospital. There is a front reception area, a cafeteria and then 14 or 15 rooms. Unfortunately, the rooms are setup like army barracks with 10 bunk beds per room. And wouldn't you know it - new guys always get a top bunk. There was a time in my life (when my little brother Jason was my bunkmate) that the top bunk was the place to be. I have far outgrown that feeling. The top bunk is terrible - I'm literally 9 inches from the ceiling. And with 10 other dudes in a room, the nights sound and smell like hippos in heat. The snoring, the farting, the burping...it is all bad. Fortunately, I'm only at the facility to sleep - I am spending the rest of my days back at work. The facility is located exactly five miles from the office so I have been running to work 4 or 5 days a week. It has really helped me to keep up my cardio game while not being allowed at the gym. 

On the Thursday after I arrived at the facility, they allowed Sallie to come and pick me up and take me to Walmart to buy anything that I needed. We had a 3 hour window to drive there, shop and drive back. Fortunately, it was relatively close so we were able to "park" and "talk" and "talk" and "talk some more" and then "talk again",  something we had been waiting to do for quite some time. The conversation was awesome! And so romantic there in the back of my truck in a Walmart parking lot. I'm sure that Sallie had been dreaming about this bucket list item her entire life. My best friend Bevin and his wife Sara and their kids were in town and they drove our kids over to Walmart to see me. It was so amazing to spend time with my family and dear friends - even for just a few minutes at Walmart. It's the little things that I've truly learned to appreciate over the past 9 months. 

The next morning I was able to sit down and meet with my case manager. She was able to explain how the program works and what I needed to do to succeed in it. Keep in mind that these halfway houses are meant to help people who have been in prison transition back into the communities. The vast majority of the guys in this halfway house have been in prison for elongated periods of time - so they need some time to readjust. Although I can appreciate the purposes of the program, it's really a one-size-fits-all program, which can be frustrating. That being said, I couldn't be more grateful to be where I am at. 

For simplicity of example, the program reminds me a lot of beginning life as a child again. You have to ask permission to do everything - and the only way that you can earn privileges is through good behavior. Chores, being kind to each other, maintaining a job, paying rent, washing your clothes, cleaning your room - you have to show that you can be a responsible member of society again - and I get it. It may be frustrating for me but I can see how a program like this can really help prisoners integrate back into the communities that put them away to begin with. And plenty of the guys that are in the house have shown that they can't handle the freedom - many have been arrested and taken out of the house in handcuffs for possession of drugs and one guy overdosed in our bathroom and nearly died right there on the floor. The temptations can be overwhelming for many of these guys and there has to be a process whereby they can show that they are ready to integrate back into society. 

My work hours are currently 8-8 everyday but Sunday. I leave the facility at 7am and get back at 9pm  - it has been so nice to get back to work. We are assigned chores for the week and my current chore is to clean up the smokers porch - which is a terrible chore. For some reason, it appears that nicotine has an affect on people that prevents them from being able to place spent cigarettes into a round garbage receptacle - the drugs affects require them to throw the cigarettes directly onto the ground - or so it seems. 

As frustrating as the struggle can be, being halfway home is a dream come true. My life now resembles the one that I once knew - and I love every minute of it. 

Brandon Stephens, Weld County Jail, Wood Group, Sentenced, 5 Years, Prison, NFL, DRDC, Rifle Correctional Center, Colorado Department of Corrections, Jail, Judge Quammen, Steve Wrenn, Weld County, Executive, Oil, Gas, White Collar, Wood, BYU, Masters Degree, Colorado State University, SWIFT, Firefighter, Wildland, Sawyer, Fire, Inmate, Brandon Stokey, Miracles, Centennial Community Correctional Center, Delta Correctional Center, DRDC, Denver Diagnostic and Reception Center, Felony, Sallie Stephens, Greeley Tribune, Judge Thomas Quammen, DA Steve Wrenn, Weld County Court, Oil & Gas,. Halfway House, Centennial Community Correction Center, CCTC