PRISON 101

*Today marks 8 months...our hope is that by month 9, we have heard back from the review committee over community corrections and Brandon will be accepted!

Prison culture is something that can only be truly understood from the inside. No TV documentary or blog can fully capture or properly articulate the experience of American incarceration. We incarcerate more people for more time than practically the rest of the world combined. I'm asked all the time if I thing our system is broken-I hesitate to weigh in on this because although I do feel that there are problems with the system, I don't have any good answers on how to fix it; I refuse to be the guy who brings up problems without proposing solutions. 

I do know this-the judge that sentenced me has promised to sentence those who appear before him to a combined one million years in prison-it doesn't sit right with me that judges should make promises like that. I digress; at the end of the day with the vast amounts of people coming in and out of prison, there is bound to be a micro-culture of rules, politics, gang hierarchies and languages. My situation has been unique because my first encounter with the law has resulted in a prison sentence. Although there are a few other inmates in here for the first time, they have typically had multiple encounters with the law and have spent extended periods of time in county jails. So by the time they are finally sentenced to prison, they've spent enough time behind bars to understand the nuances of prison; vocabulary, gang rules, political rules of the yard, things you can and cannot say or do, interactions with the guards, inmate rules, etc..

 As I mentioned before, Sallie regularly brings up things that I say that she doesn't understand-whether they are words or ideas that I have forgotten mean nothing to anyone who isn't in prison. So, in an effort to introduce you all to some of these words and ideas, I have put together this post. As a disclaimer, this post will have a movie rating of PG-13. If I were aiming to be be completely authentic- it would be R++, but I am not going there. But it will contain words and ideas that may not be suitable for everyone.

-In the prison world there are two unpardonable sins-crimes against children and crimes against women. Criminals who have committed these types of crimes have a couple of options-they get beat up/killed, they are segregated from the general population by the DOC or they "pay rent."

When new prisoners arrive at a facility they are often required to "check-in" with the head of the dominant gang. The "check-in" process requires you to show your court papers citing your crimes. If any of your crimes involve children or women you are told that you must pay "rent" to that respective gang. In return for paying them "rent" they agree to not hurt you for your crimes and also will protect you from anyone else trying to make you pay for your crimes.

-Slide "to slide someone out" Just another way of saying that you're going to take someone out via physical force.

-Shank- "to shank someone" another way of saying that you're going to stab someone. Shanks can be made from a toothbrush, butter knife, plastic..I've never seen someone stabbed in here but I have seen shanks.

Any fighting that needs to happen is done inside of bedrooms or bathrooms only. If you are caught fighting, it is an automatic write-up which can extend your sentence by one year. Fighting inside a bedroom cell can be difficult because they are so small. If the guards suspect that any fighting has occurred, the facility is immediately locked down and we are required to strip down to our underwear to check bodies and knuckles for any signs of fighting. Since I have been here we have been locked down 15-20 times (in 7 months). At higher level facilities, they are locked down on a daily basis. 

-Chow- all meals are referred to as "chow."

-Tech- "a tech man" is someone that stands watch looking for guards while something devious is going on-like fighting or tattooing. 

There are two words that are off limits to use when speaking to other inmates-unless you are trying to invoke a call-to-arms. Inmates are bound by their code to fight if someone ever calls them a "punk" or a "bitch." I find this whole scenario completely hilarious particularly taking offense to the word, punk.  But I have seen some very serious retaliation when those words have actually been used.

-Pile- "weight pile" The outdoor weight set where you work out.

-Yard- "prison yard" The outdoor portion of the facility.

-Celly- "my celly" My roommate or cell-mate. (Sal's favorite word)

-This wouldn't be a prison post without talk about rape. Over the past few years there has been a tremendous effort nationally to protect inmates from sexual violence while incarcerated. Does it still happen? Absolutely. But from what I can gather, things have gotten much safer. There are cameras everywhere and guards have been trained on spotting things before the happen. I also feel like there is a large group of openly gay inmates at every facility who essentially eliminate the need for sex through violence. 

-Dope- It's always been a mystery to me what specific drugs people are referring to when they say"dope." A quick poll amongst my fellow inmates seems to lean in favor of dope being meth-but some say it can be heroine as well. 

-Kite- "I'll send my case manager a kite." I still can't figure out the origins of this word but anytime you send correspondence in prison, it is referred to as a kite. 

-Hit- "The guards caught you fighting, you're hit." I actually love this word. The best definition is "to be in trouble or in a "bind" but I find myself using more than any new word in prison. 

-Store- "I'm out of Top Ramen, I'll have to go to the store."In prison you have the opportunity to order food/supplies once a week-it's called "canteen." The store is a reference to buying things from other inmates. It is against the rules but I can't imagine any prison in America that doesn't have it happening. Going to the store can be expensive-the cost is usually 200% higher than canteen.

-Snitch/Rat- "He snitched on me." This is a term used on the outside too and self explanatory. When someone tells on you they are a snitch or a rat. In here, being known as a snitch is up there with violence against women and children. 

-As I told you about in my previous post, I was visited by some of our best lifetime friends-Stan and Michelle Merrill. Michelle commented that she noticed that my eyes were constantly spanning the room and asked me about it. I told her that in here you always need to be aware of where other inmates are at all times. You are also conditioned to always know where the guards are. I can't really explain why I've developed the habit in here. I am not afraid of getting jumped or anything but I feel the need to have an inventory of everyone in my vicinity and their movements at all times.

-Gangs- There are gangs and gang politics everywhere you turn in prison. Early on is my prison experience, I was was recruited to join any number of gangs. I obviously declined. It is fascinating to me to see the power and organization of some of these gangs in here. 

It's almost respectable to see the codes, rules, and brotherhoods that they all live by. I'm not naive enough to know the destruction and evil that can come from the same organizations. But truth be known, I am surrounded on a daily basis by members of gangs-I workout with them, I work with them, I talk with them-and every one of them, not matter the gang, has always treated me with mutual respect. 

Brandon Stephens, Weld County Jail, Wood Group, Sentenced, 5 Years, Prison, NFL, DRDC, Rifle Correctional Center, Colorado Department of Corrections, Jail, Judge Quammen, Steve Wrenn, Weld County, Executive, Oil, Gas, White Collar, Wood, BYU, Masters Degree, Colorado State University, SWIFT, Firefighter, Wildland, Sawyer, Fire, Inmate, Brandon Stokey, Miracles, Centennial Community Correctional Center, Delta Correctional Center, DRDC, Denver Diagnostic and Reception Center, Felony, Sallie Stephens, Greeley Tribune, Judge Thomas Quammen, DA Steve Wrenn, Weld County Court, Oil & Gas,. Halfway House, Centennial Community Correction Center, CCTC, Felon, 416 Fire, Silver Creek Fire, Spring Fire, Cabin Lake Fire

Friends For Life

This past Sunday I took a walk that I have become very familiar with; it's the walk between my prison cell and the visiting area that is in a separate building. When I am not on a fire, most of my Saturdays and Sundays are spent in that building. Sallie is of course, my most diligent visitor-she makes the 4 hour drive (8 hours round trip) whenever possible. Sometimes with the kids, sometimes with a couple of them, or by herself. Sometimes for both days, and sometimes she drives up and back for the one day. I think there is only a handful of weekends she wasn't able to come while I was here. 

When Sal hasn't be able to visit, friends from Colorado, Texas and Utah have made the trip that dead ends at a prison high in the canyons above Rifle, Colorado. Visiting rules here are not nearly as stringent as higher level facilities but suffice it to say that the only physical that can happen is a hug/kiss at the beginning and the end of the visit. What this really means is that I have gotten the same amount of physical action from my Father-in-law, Marlowe over the past eight months, as I have gotten from his daughter...my wife!

There are are ten or so tables inside of the visiting area and another ten picnic tables located in an outdoor portion of the facility. Visitors are allowed to bring outside food from any restaurant or store to share with their inmate-a pretty amazing perk of this facility. Visiting hours are 9:00-3:30 and after every visit, I am subject to the all to familiar strip search and squough.

I'm told by the guards that my visiting list has surpassed all previous records in terms of number of approved visitors. I don't share this to brag at all-it's simply a testament to how loving and supportive people are. It's also a reminder that so many of my fellow inmates have nothing left in terms of social support. Some of them never had it to begin with. Others have destroyed so many of their relationships on the way to prison that there is nobody left. 

When a visitor shows up, a facility-wide announcement is made for the corresponding inmate to report to visiting. I have become somewhat self-conscious of the walk from my cell to the visiting area-passing so many inmates who know exactly where I'm headed- 80% of whom never get visits.

It has taken me a while to feel completely comfortable in visits. I say this with the utmost amount of sensitivity; but for some reason, especially in the beginning, visits were really hard. Not because I didn't love and appreciate everyone who was making the time and effort to visit-but because of the completely vulnerable state you find yourself in. Society has placed a scarlet letter of sorts on you and you have to drop whatever pride you have left to face people from the "real world". I hated sensing the fear and apprehension that accompanied my visitors-the great majority of which have never stepped foot in a prison. I felt guilty that my current circumstance was interrupting the lives of my visitors. I was always worried about how ridiculous I looked in my green prison scrubs- all of it was hard for me to accept. But, slowly as I have gotten more and more humbled from my experience, I have realized how selfish all of my fears were. I think it's safe to say that for a lot of us, one of the hardest things for us to do is accept help from other people-to show weakness and/or humility-something we are conditioned to hide. 

This past Sunday, I was visited by one of my best friends and his wife, Stan and Michelle Merrill. Stan and I grew up together, especially in high school, as best friends and teammates. We played so much football and basketball together that I can't remember ever not playing with him. It was even in his car, as he drove me home that I kissed Sallie for the first time..and he was my best man when I married her.

After high school we remained very close as he and Michelle lived in St. George, Utah and Sal and I lived in Las Vegas, Nevada. Close enough to spend a lot of time together with our kids growing up knowing each other as well. 

Eventually Stan, Michelle and their kids moved back Logan, Utah and Sal and I moved to Wyoming and then Colorado. We had exchanged Christmas cards every year but other than that, for the past eight years, we have had little to no contact.

I can tell you this-none of us thought that our eventual reunion would be behind the walls of a prison. So, as I made the long walk from my cell to visiting, I felt some of those prideful fears creeping up. All of those glory days spent together and we were being reunited in a prison. I felt ashamed. I felt embarrassed. I felt sad. Here I was, feeling these feelings about someone who I loved so much-and I know loved me. 

I stopped in the atrium-only one door separating me from Stan and Michelle-to get patted down by the guard. How ironic, I thought. A guard is checking me for weapons before I could be reunited with friends. Would I see embarrassment in their eyes as the door opened? Would I see fear? 

The guard finished the search and motioned for me to open the door. I pushed the bar in and hesitantly opened the door-all of the sudden there were my dear friends standing feet from me. As soon as I saw Stan, my emotions got the best of me and we both embraced-like we had after winning one of our basketball games so many years ago. Michelle joined in on the group hug and for a good 20 seconds we all stood in the visiting room of a prison with tears streaming down our faces-happy to see each other again.

Spending the day with Stan and Michelle was so good. We laughed about stories from high school and made fun of my current situation. In short, it was one of my best days I have had in a long time.

Later that day, after we'd said our goodbyes, I found myself walking around the prison yard wondering how I ever let EIGHT years of our lives pass without keeping in better touch. As I thought about it, I kept thinking of more and more people who have had a significant influence in my life whom I have simply lost contact with. What a shame that I have let that happen. Life is way too precious to ever lose contact with those who love us most-and especially for who we really are-even when we aren't at our best.

When Maggie moved to Logan a few months ago, she ironically ended up living a few houses away from Stan and Michelle. Stan and Michelle's oldest child is the same age as her and he is taking her to their high school homecoming dance in a couple of weeks. How I wish I could be there, not only to tell him that whatever he does to Maggie, I will do to him...but to see my best friend's son take my daughter on a date. Serendipity indeed.

My hope is maybe-just maybe, I can influence one of you to reach out to someone who you have lost contact with. They may need you at this very moment.

Lastly, another good friend sent me a letter this week that had a section titled..pretty good if I do say so myself.

Advice From a Sasquatch

-Be Yourself
-Make a Big Impression
-Embrace Mystery
-Spend Time in the Woods
-It's OK to show up Unexpectedly
-Be Gentle on the Earth
-Live a Legendary Life

Brandon Stephens, Weld County Jail, Wood Group, Sentenced, 5 Years, Prison, NFL, DRDC, Rifle Correctional Center, Colorado Department of Corrections, Jail, Judge Quammen, Steve Wrenn, Weld County, Executive, Oil, Gas, White Collar, Wood, BYU, Masters Degree, Colorado State University, SWIFT, Firefighter, Wildland, Sawyer, Fire, Inmate, Brandon Stokey, Miracles, Centennial Community Correctional Center, Delta Correctional Center, DRDC, Denver Diagnostic and Reception Center, Felony, Sallie Stephens, Greeley Tribune, Judge Thomas Quammen, DA Steve Wrenn, Weld County Court, Oil & Gas,. Halfway House, Centennial Community Correction Center, CCTC, Felon, 416 Fire, Silver Creek Fire, Spring Fire, Cabin Lake Fire

🍂THAT TIME 🏈F YEAR🍂

For as long as I can remember my biological clock has revolved around the game of football. For me, there have only been two seasons of the year- "football season" and "not football season". Fall has always been my favorite time of the year-because of football. Sal and I actually got married during a bye week, so you can add that to another reason I love this time of year..

My journey through the prison system has now spanned an entire "not football season" as I was able to watch the Super Bowl during my time in maximum security at the DRDC in February. For the past eight years my football seasons have been spent coaching my son, Jack in the game I love; and with the exception of being away from my wife and kids, the greatest punishment that the judge inadvertently gave me was not letting me coach this season and it is killing me.

We recently returned home from the Cabin Lake Fire which was located just outside of Meeker, Colorado; an absolutely beautiful part of the state. The Cabin Lake Fire was a 7,000 acre fire located mostly about 8,000 feet in high timber. As a sawyer on our fire team, it was a dream come true-cutting big timber is so much fun. Unlike all of the other fires that we have battled this year, the Cabin Lake Fire was nearly completely out by the time we arrived.

All the big flames and fire front that we have become accustomed to fighting were long gone by the time we arrived. Our job-for 15 days-was to "mop-up" and grid the entire fire to put our hot spots, cut down hazard trees and generally ensure that the fire wouldn't start up again. Over the two weeks we guided over 100 miles of very steep terrain-it got very boring at times but is a part of a necessary part of the fire suppression process. 

The most exciting things that happened during this trip was a bear encounter and a fist fight between two other inmates-it ended really poorly for one of them, thankfully not for the other. (I wish I could write more but my 1st and 2nd Amendment rights are currently in hibernation). We have now spent a total of 57 nights on fires-camping. It has been a life-saver for me; I can't imagine having survived incarceration without it. 

The other thing I love about fall is hunting. Ironically enough, there is a big outdoor gun range less than a block from our facility. With hunting season here, there has been a ton of activity over on the range as hunters sight their guns. For those of us who have been here at the facility, it is just part of the background noise to hear the guns going off. 

One of our favorite pastimes is to sit out on the benches on Wednesday mornings and watch the new guys (who arrive on Tuesdays) react as the gun shots go off. I've seen everything from the classic belly drop to a full on sprint. I can never figure out who exactly the new guys think is shooting at them. Cops? Bad guys? Whoever they think it, there is genuine fear and pure entertainment for me! I could have so many viral videos of these guys and their reactions if I had a camera. So for now....both the deer and the new inmates are all running from gunfire!

Early on in my DOC experience, Sallie brought it to my attention that I was constantly using prison lingo during our conversations that she did not understand. Rightfully so, there are a lot of words that are specific to this environment. For example, when I was telling her about my celly, she started laughing and asked what that was. I had to think for a split second...cell mate. She knew I wasn't in a "cell" so she was so confused. These days, she reminds me that she is my celly for life so don't get to comfortable...and I tell her I can't wait to be cellies again, prison humor never gets old!

Sallie has asked that I compile a "prison dictionary" of sorts-I am happy to announce that the great literary work is near completion and I will hopefully have it here for you all as my next post. 

Here come the hunters, boom goes the gun.

All the deer and inmates go run, run, run....

Brandon Stephens, Weld County Jail, Wood Group, Sentenced, 5 Years, Prison, NFL, DRDC, Rifle Correctional Center, Colorado Department of Corrections, Jail, Judge Quammen, Steve Wrenn, Weld County, Executive, Oil, Gas, White Collar, Wood, BYU, Masters Degree, Colorado State University, SWIFT, Firefighter, Wildland, Sawyer, Fire, Inmate, Brandon Stokey, Miracles, Centennial Community Correctional Center, Delta Correctional Center, DRDC, Denver Diagnostic and Reception Center, Felony, Sallie Stephens, Greeley Tribune, Judge Thomas Quammen, DA Steve Wrenn, Weld County Court, Oil & Gas,. Halfway House, Centennial Community Correction Center, CCTC, Felon, 416 Fire, Silver Creek Fire, Spring Fire, Cabin Lake Fire

**NEW EMAIL**

Brandon isn't able to email back since the system is shut down nationwide. You can still email me him through www.jpay.com

You will have to set up an account just as you did for the other website. Brandon wanted me to apologize that he can only reply through letters so include your return address so he can respond. Remember that you will need his DOC # which is 179321.

Just to let you all know, his last post was lost somehow so he is working on a new one which should go up tomorrow or Wednesday. He likes to have a post at least once a week but sometimes depending on his SWIFT schedule he can't get them out as quickly as he would like. 

Thanks for checking in and as always, the emails, texts and letters are so very much appreciated. 

As soon as we hear anything regarding the Community Corrections. I will post on here with the good news of his acceptance, because getting denied is not an option! :)

Enough Trials and Tribulations Already

I keep telling myself that the next time I post on here it will be a positive, uplifting, God is great, hallelujah post. Not so with this one but NEXT time, it just has to be. 

Brandon got back from his 14 day assignment yesterday about 12:30. I wasn't sure we were going to go to Rifle and see him because I had no idea what time he would be back. Visiting is open every Saturday and Sunday 9:00-3:30, so I was worried about driving up there and him missing that window. But after not talking to him for two very long weeks, I was determined to see him even if it was for five minutes; it was a chance I was going to take.

The past two weeks were filled with so many awful things, I didn't know where I was going to start when I did see him and I didn't want to ruin how good it felt to see him with all my negative nancy news.

Rewind 2 weeks ago, the day after Brandon left for a fire, I got a text saying that one of our closest friends had lost her sister in a single car accident the day before. So on the same day Brandon left. I knew Brandon would be gone for the next 14 days and I knew he would want to know. She was 22 and just graduated from college, it is so tragically awful. I knew he'd hate that he was missing the funeral, that he wouldn't be able to hug our friends and be there for them like he would if he wasn't currently property of the state of Colorado. I was so sad, I just kept thinking how unfair life can be and how hard it is to understand, reconcile, and handle unexplainable things that happen.

That week was long and by the time Wednesday rolled around, I decided the only thing I could do was go to relieve all the anger mixed with such sadness was to go to my church's temple and try and find some comfort there. It has been very difficult for me to go there since Brandon has been gone; it's all about families being together, literally forever. 

It has been really hard for me to go as much as I should because I get so sad going without Brandon. I have sat in parking lot more times than I'd like to admit, watching couples walk in and out together and wondering if they even appreciate being able to go together. Anyway, I dragged myself there and thought maybe any prayers I could say for myself, my family, my friends, and even the judge in this case might carry a little more weight if I do it there... silly you might say, but I am trying everything I know and believe in. I was so proud of myself that as I left I thought, at least I am doing what I believe in.

The next morning as I was walking into the gym, my phone rang. I saw it was my brother-in-law who is an attorney. I knew he wasn't calling to ask how I slept. I picked it up and was told that after three months, the judge had finally responded to our motion that we had filed asking him to reconsider the sentence he imposed. I had told myself not to expect anything, I wasn't holding my breath, but as it turned out, I was.

The judge had said no to the motion. He said in so many words that if he reduced it, it would take away from the seriousness of the crimes and while the court is not surprised to learn he is a model inmate, the time credit he will receive from that will reduce it anyway. I was sick and although tears welled up in my eyes, I kept my composure at the gym. 

Just more awful news that hurts not only myself but people I love. When I got home I broke down in the shower, it felt good not having to hold it in. Afterwards, I laid on my bed until I it was time to pick up the kids from school. I had decided I wasn't going to tell the kids, simply because I'm selfish. I didn't want to tell them by myself and to tell them that it's okay and everything will work out; I am afraid I am losing my credibility with them. And honestly, I just didn't have it in me to say it when I did not believe it myself.

When I picked up Navy I could instantly see something was wrong. She had mustered up the courage to tryout for the sophomore dance that day for field day; every class has a dance they perform during homecoming week as one of the competitions throughout the week. This dance is supposed to be fun but as Navy walked in, she was asked if she was a dancer or a gymnast. When she said no, she was told it was for serious dancers and to go wait by the wall. She was heartbroken. Ugh, she needs more than me, she needs her Dad to pick her up in his big bear hug and say and do something to make her laugh uncontrollably. Another reminder just how much my kids need him. 

The days dragged on and Saturday was the highlight and distraction I needed.  Jack had his first football game of the season. I was nervous yet excited. The team they were playing were alot bigger than our team but it was an exciting game. Jack is the QB and his favorite target is out with an injury for a few more weeks so I didn't know what to expect. Jack ran for a 50 yard TD and as he was running, I was standing there and everything was mute, I had my hands up by my face as I was clapping but I didn't realize I had tears streaming down my face as I thought, "his dad should be here." My friend Katie was cheering like his second mom and knew what I was thinking, I was so grateful to have her there to help me feel not so alone in what I was feeling watching Jack. It was a confusing feeling I felt, so happy for Jack but I know he was wishing his Dad was there to see it.  

A few series later on defense, he stripped it and ran it in for another TD. Tears again as I just stood there watching Jack run over to the sideline, giving me a cute little grin. The team played great and pulled off a win, Saturday was my best day, seeing Jack do something he loves and shares with his Dad.

Fast forward to this Saturday, Jack ran for an 80 yard TD, then a few plays later running out of bounds, he was tackled, 4 guys from behind. He tried getting up and collapsed, we are hoping it isn't his ACL but it doesn't look good. I was already heading to Utah to see Maggie and go to her two games this week, so I just bought Jack a ticket as he is lucky enough to have the best knee dr in the world take care of him and his knee. I'm not just saying that because he is my Dad, but because it really is true. No matter the outcome of his injury, I know he is in the best possible care and he will be okay even though the season for him, is over. 

That said, I knew I had to tell Brandon about it in person and that this was one of his biggest worries. Not that he could have prevented it, but not being here to help him mentally and physically; pure torture for Brandon. 

After getting Jack wrapped, braced and on crutches, we headed for Rifle that night. We all needed to see him, but even more so now. It was so good to see him and never long enough. It always makes me cry as we drive away without him because after 7 months and 10 days, I would like that judge to know that it's been long enough and enough damage has been done; it's time he's home and around his kids because they need him...almost as much as I do. 

Brandon Stephens, Weld County Jail, Wood Group, Sentenced, 5 Years, Prison, NFL, DRDC, Rifle Correctional Center, Colorado Department of Corrections, Jail, Judge Quammen, Steve Wrenn, Weld County, Executive, Oil, Gas, White Collar, Wood, BYU, Masters Degree, Colorado State University, SWIFT, Firefighter, Wildland, Sawyer, Fire, Inmate, Brandon Stokey, Miracles, Centennial Community Correctional Center, Delta Correctional Center, DRDC, Denver Diagnostic and Reception Center, Felony, Sallie Stephens, Greeley Tribune, Judge Thomas Quammen, DA Steve Wrenn, Weld County Court, Oil & Gas,. Halfway House, Centennial Community Correction Center, CCTC, Felon, 416 Fire, Silver Creek Fire, Spring Fire, Cabin Lake Fire