A Jack Mormon Goes To Church

Prison has a way of humbling the most hopeless, despondent and unlikely of candidates. The humility that often accompanies the shame of the crime, the subsequent consequences, and the ultimate desire to right one's wrongs leads to a place familiar to most of us-God. You would be hard pressed to find a cell in the entire prison system that doesn't have Bible.

Most facilities in the Colorado Department of Corrections have a chapel and some sort of clergy. The chapels are used for Bible studies, Prayer Groups, Alcoholics Anonymous etc. At the larger facilities, different religious groups are asked and allowed to visit on certain days of the week to conduct religion specific meetings. As luck would have it, Delta Correctional Center hosts various religious groups throughout the week. In the foyer of the chapel there is a large whiteboard that shows when one could expect a visit from their respective religion-and sure enough, tucked in the very top corner of this whiteboard I saw-LDS, 2pm, 2nd & 4th Sundays.

It was the day after my incredible experience with Elder Stevenson and I was ecstatic to learn that I would be able to have some kind of contact with someone from the Mormon Church. I was so excited to have someone to talk with who I had something in common (besides felonies and a prison sentence)! As any good member of the church in prison would do, I invited as many people as I could to the service. Recruiting was slow-going but after leveraging my Sunday-dinner dessert cookies, I was finally able to recruit my cellmate to attend with me. We showed up early at 1:50 pm (like any good member of the church in prison would do) and we were told by the Prison Pastor that the Mormon Service had been moved to 3pm. He was able to tell us that a Bishop from a local Ward (a neighborhood congregation) typically ran the service and was usually accompanied by one other male church member. It was an absolutely beautiful day so we decided that we would take a walk through the prison yard until until it was time to come back at 3pm for church.

After meandering through the maze of sidewalks on the prison yard, we arrived at the softball field. Now I had previously been invited to come and play in a pickup softball game but I had a couple of reasons-1. It interfered with church time 2. It was the Sabbath Day, and now that I had a properly bribed investigator in tow, I wanted to set a good example. However, within 2 minutes of showing up at the softball field, the ox had fallen squarely in the mire and I had properly convinced myself that playing in the game would be a "missionary experience" and could therefore be justified, Sabbath Day or not. So play we did-and it was a blast. After about an hour, my team was winning and more importantly my investigator was having a blast. Suddenly, there was an announcement that came over the loud speaker, STEPHENS, DOC# 179321, PLEASE RETURN TO THE CHAPEL FOR THE LDS CHURCH SERVICES. My missionary activity had been going so well that I had completely forgotten about church! I was on deck, so naturally, as soon as I was done being up to bat, my investigator and I ran down to the chapel to meet with the Mormon Bishop and his counselor.


After playing for an hour in the nice warm sun and then running down to the chapel, I had worked up quite a sweat-actually, I was disgustingly sweaty. I was what my girls would call a hot mess. My sweat had soaked completely through my prison garb and huge beads were running down the sides of my face-and my investigator didn't look much better. But we had made it to church and knowing that "visitors are welcome" I wasn't too ashamed of my appearance at all. 
There were two Mormon, leaders waiting for us in the foyer who introduced themselves as Bishop Smith and Brother Hyde. There was also an additional inmate who had seen the announcement on the board and had decided he wanted to see what Mormons were all about. So with the two leaders, there was a total of five of us. They escorted us into a side room where there was a table and six chairs. We sat down and made introductions.

For the ease of reading, typing and a bit of entertainment, I'm going to digress into a script format for the rest of the post. It's too hard for me to type on my ipad with all the punctuation. The five of characters: Bishop Smith, Brother Hyde, Brandon Stephens, Richard (previously referred to the investigator) and Mike, the new inmate that showed up on his own. I have my own interpretation of how this whole meeting went and I've included my thoughts and my perceptions of people's thoughts in bold italics.

Bishop Smith: How was the softball game?

Brandon Stephens: Crap, how does he know about the softball game? Is he judging me for playing softball on Sunday? Little does he know that I had an investigator with me and I was doing missionary work. I should have changed out of these sweaty clothes before I came in here. Oh, it really wasn't a game, just some inmates playing catch. Why am I explaining myself, I wasn't doing anything wrong.

Richard: What is Brandon talking about? It was a game- we were keeping score and our team actually won.

Brandon: Why did I bring him, he's making me look like a Pharisee.

Brother Hyde: As sweaty as you guys are, it looks like you had alot of fun. Let's get started. How familiar are you all with the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, Mormons?

Brandon: Well, I am very familiar. I've been a good member all of my life. I even brought my roommate with me. Good member? Why did you say that? You're in prison, obviously at some point you weren't a GOOD member.

Mike: Wait, Brandon, you're a Mormon? So you must be a jack Mormon right?

Brandon: (ignoring the comment) I'm not a jack Mormon but I can see your logic.

Richard: I'm not Mormon. Brandon told me that he'd give me his dessert from dinner if I came and sat through this.

Brandon: Oh my gosh, you did not just say that! Why did I bring you? Well, Richard was a little interested and had some questions so I invited him.

Mike: I'm here because my Dad was a jack Mormon just like Brandon. We really never went to church.

Brandon: I'm not a jack Mormon, I've been an active member my entire life.

Mike: But you're in prison.

Brandon: I'm going to choke this kid out.

Mike: But do you guys think Brandon is a jack Mormon if he's in prison?

Brother Hyde: Not necessarily. Brandon, do you need a towel? You're still sweating.

Bishop: (looking over at Brother Hyde and glancing back at me) We don't need to use the term jack Mormon, let's move on. Brandon, did you serve a mission and what callings have you held?

Brandon: (feeling very paranoid and inferior) This sounds like he's testing me. Of course I went on a mission. I served my mission in Romania. I have served as the Young Mens President, Young Mens Counselor, Elder's Quorum President, 1st Assistant in High Priest Group Group and a counselor in a Bishopric. (Those not familiar with these terms, I know it can be confusing so if you care to know what they are, they are explained on lds.org or mormon.org)

Mike: AAAAND you served as President of the jack Mormons.

Brandon: Stop with the jack Mormon stuff! I'm about to show you what a jack Mormon is all about!

Bishop: (ignoring the jack Mormon comment) Well Brother Stephens, we are glad to have you here and especially grateful that brought Richard with you.

Brother Hyde: Well let's get started, we are going to study a lesson today on Prophets andApostles.

Brandon: Of course you are.

Richard: How long do these lessons typically last?  I just want his cookie

Bishop: Good question Richard, we usually take about 30 minutes.

Brother Hyde: Richard and Mike, what do the words Prophets and Apostles mean to you?

Mike: Jesus' followers

Richard: I have no idea, fisherman?

Brother Hyde: You're both right. Brandon, what can you tell us about Prophets and Apostles?

Brandon: That they not only lived in Christ's time time but they live in our time. They are Christ's representatives on earth and they are here to lead the Church and minister to the God's children.

Bishop Hyde: Thank you Brandon. Can you help Mike and Richard understand what you mean when you say minister?

Brandon: Are you kidding me right now, I've got an example for the ages! You bet, actually, I spoke with one of the 12 Apostles on the phone last night.

Bishop: (moving his glasses to the end of his nose and looking at me) You spoke with one of the Apostles on the phone last night? (this should be good)

Brandon: I did (why did I even mention this? they are never going to believe me)

Brother Hyde: (with a skeptical look) And which Apostle did you talk with? This guy is something. 

Brandon: (sensing the belief in the room) Elder Gary Stevenson.

Bishop: Oh really?

Brandon: Yes, really. We had an amazing conversation. 

Mike: I wouldn't have believe anything Brandon is telling you-he's a jack Mormon.

Brandon: If you call me a jack Mormon one more time, you will regret it and we will both be put in the hole.

Mike: You are a Mormon and you are in prison.

Brandon: Okay, I get your point- but don't say it again. We can talk about it later.

Brother Hyde: (looking at me and Mike like we are insane) Did he call you from Church headquarters? From Salt Lake?

Brandon: No, he was at my house.

Bishop: (mouth open in complete disbelief) At your house? Elder Stevenson of the Quorum of 12 was at your house and called you? Why?

Brandon: I called to talk to my wife and kids. He was there visiting my family and gave her an Apostolic blessing. In fact, that was why we talked on the phone-he was asking my permission to give her a blessing.

Bishop: What did you tell him? (this guy is an extremely good liar)

Brandon: That I'd love for him to bless her. He told me that giving her an Apostolic Blessing would be the same as if he was laying his hands on my head. I was trying to make the point by telling you this, Elder Stevenson came to visit and minister to my family in our time of need-just like the Apostles from the New Testament. 

Richard: Like Paul, or James or John?

Brandon: Exactly. That's the first thing you've said that didn't embarrass me.

Brother Hyde: That's a really good example Brandon. If it's really true.

Mike: That story sounds fake to me.
'
Brandon: It's not fake Mike. 

Bishop: As a Brother Hyde said, that's a great example of an Apostle ministering. I will say for Richard and Mike's sake, that it's not typical for the Apostles to make house calls. That was a once in a lifetime thing to meet an Apostle, right Brandon?

Brandon: Absolutely, I still can't believe it myself. But, my wife and I were married by Elder Ballard almost 18 years ago.

Bishop & Brother Hyde in unison: Elder Ballard married you and your wife? ok, this is not real and what a piece of work. 

Brandon- yes, he is a close friend of my father and mother in law. 

Brother Hyde; wow, I really had no idea this lesson would end up here today.

Richard: Speaking of lessons, your 30 minutes is up. I'll stay longer if Brandon will give me his dessert tomorrow..

Brandon:  why did I bring you?!

Mike: Yeah, I'm ready to leave too.

Bishop: We will wrap it up there-thank you for coming today. And Brandon, thank you for sharing your (clears his throat) stories.

Brandon: Of course, no problem. although no one in this room believes anything I just said)

-The group all shakes hands and each goes their own way-

on the way out to the car Bishop says to Brother Hyde...

Bishop: Can you believe those stories? Amazing!

Brother Hyde: Amazing if they're true. I mean after all, he is a felon in prison and you never know what to believe from an inmate.

Bishop: No, Brother Hyde, you never know what to believe from the mouth of a jack Mormon.

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Obviously, I have taken some creative liberty on how I perceived my first experience at Church in prison and how it went. While the gist of the conversation is entirely accurate, including being called a jack Mormon throughout the lesson. The bishop and his counselor were great. Although, I'm sure my stories were really hard to believe, they carried on as if they believed every word. They did leave copies of Gospel Principles with both Mike and Richard and they bore very strong testimonies of the Gospel. It was awesome having them visit.

Although I hated being called a jack Mormon, I understand what Mike was getting at-I am not a perfect member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. But what Mike doesn't know is that my testimony of the Gospel of Jesus Christ, particularly the power of the Atonement has never been stronger-and it continues to grow despite the walls that surround and confine me. 

Looking back, I wish I could have discussed that the blessing and phone call that I recieved from Elder Stevenson was indeed, a surprise and not something I have witnessed first hand until now. 

I do know that he, along with the other Apostles and President Nelson minister to people everyday, everywhere in different ways equally as sacred. I will always cherish my experience, but what I don't want to happen, is for anyone reading this, Mike or Richard, to think that I am the only one with a story. We hear about the Prophet of my Church, the Apostles and other members of my Church minister to people everyday, in every way. Charity is the pure love of Christ. Helping others, lifting others up, lending a hand to those in need, consecrating our own talents to help, donating time, money..all of this is ministering to others. I was fortunate to have my own experience with an Apostle that was and will always be a sacred, tender experience that I will carry with me for the rest of my life. Yet, I have read & heard of so many other people's experiences throughout my life. I don't for one minute think I am anything special, ha, I am probably the least deserving and as I have said before, I was humbled and grateful. Somehow, for some reason, I am fortunate to have my own story to tell being a recipient of a man doing as Christ would, mourn with those that mourn, comfort those in need of comfort. We can all be that for someone, and by the examples of my Church leaders throughout my life, my friends-both Mormon and not, mission companions, family, they have ministered to me and my family. I will forever be grateful and spend the rest of my life trying to pay it forward, not just when life is going well, but especially when it's tough, like it is today. 


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