Rock Bottom...

 "And so rock bottom became a solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life." This quote is from JK Rowling - the author of the Harry Potter book series. And I have come to appreciate this quote more than ever... It's an interesting idea - building a solid foundation on rock bottom. As it turns out, the idea holds up in real-life applications. My entire professional career has been in and around construction. And whenever we are required to build something that requires a strong foundation - we excavate the hole deep enough so that there is a solid rock bottom on which to build the foundation. If you fail to build on a solid rock foundation, the structure will settle, which will cause cracks in the foundation, which can cause the foundation to fail - and once a foundation fails, everything that is resting on it will come tumbling down. My rock bottom came 11 months ago on January 24, 2018 - the day that I was sentenced to 5 years in prison. I've included a picture of me from that awful winter day - a mugshot. I look at this picture and try and remember what was going through my mind as the guards pushed down the button on the camera. A lot of those days are all a blur to me, but I can remember thinking to myself..."all is lost". By the time this mugshot was taken, my plight through the criminal justice system was already a media favorite in Weld County, Colorado so this was this icing on the cake. For years, all through my football career, I had always benefited from the media. But now, at my rock bottom, I wasn't prepared to accept the seemingly unfair part of the gig - the part where they show up to publicly document your mistakes, weaknesses and ultimate demise - all to sell a story. It was the thought of being blasted across newspapers and the internet that really made me feel like "all was lost". I wish that I could go back to that cold, dreary January day and slap myself upside the head and say - "ALL is not LOST - ALL is about to be FOUND"...

After sitting in that cold, dark prison cell for that first week, small bits of hope started trickling in. Because I could not use the phone, hope trickled into the prison in the form of letters. The first was a letter from Sallie and the kids - telling me how much they loved me. Then more letters from family, friends - even strangers expressing their support for me and my family. Over the coming months, God rained down blessings on us - I made the firefighting team, Sallie and the kids received so much help from so many people, my business partners stood by me and as the apparent weight of the entire world bore down on us - we bent but we did not break.

One of the reasons that the Brandon in this picture thought that "all was lost" was my pursuit of what I call "perceived perfection". For a good portion of my adult life I've lived with the idea that I needed to portray some level of perfection to the world. And when I say "world", it's almost as if I'm referring to some imaginary, virtual group of people that are just at the fringe of my life but not at all a part of it. After all, I could never portray any level of perfection to those who really know me - those who are closest to me would be very aware of my imperfections - and love me in spite of them. But there was always this idea, however ridiculous it now sounds to me, that my success and ultimate worth in this life was somehow determined by my portrayal of perfection to this virtual group of people. And so when the day came that I lost my ability to control the message of perfection to the "fringe people", in my mind, all had been lost.

One thing that I will takeaway from this whole experience is the knowledge that there is tremendous power in our imperfections. In fact, in a lot of ways, our imperfections and shortcomings make up a huge part of who we are. The power comes from knowing, understanding and then fixing our weaknesses. Eleven months ago I would have considered such a notion ridiculous - but there is a part of me that now finds gratitude in the fact that I lived out the results of my mistakes in such a public fashion. JK Rowling thought the same thing when she said, "I was set free because my greatest fear had been realized".

I'll never be able to be one of those people who tells you that "I don't care what people think about me". The truth is, as it stands today, there are a lot of people who fit in that category. But it's an entirely different group than it was a year ago. I've given up on the "virtual" people - I don't know why those imaginary people ever mattered to me at all. The people whose opinion matters most to me are those that know me best - those that would have never demanded perfection from me to begin with - the people in this picture with me - including Zeus. We are so happy in this picture - but we're not happy all of the time. We argue, don't clean up our own messes, we fight, pee where we shouldn't (Jack & Zeus), some of us go to prison, spend too much time on our phones, complain about going to church, despise school, work too many hours, spend too much money, need fake eyelashes - the list goes on. In short, we are a family full of imperfections - but believe me when I say...that is perfectly OK.

And so rock bottom became the solid foundation upon which I built the rest of my life..












Brandon Stephens, Weld County Jail, Wood Group, Sentenced, 5 Years, Prison, NFL, DRDC, Rifle Correctional Center, Colorado Department of Corrections, Jail, Judge Quammen, Steve Wrenn, Weld County, Executive, Oil, Gas, White Collar, Wood, BYU, Masters Degree, Colorado State University, SWIFT, Firefighter, Wildland, Sawyer, Fire, Inmate, Brandon Stokey, Miracles, Centennial Community Correctional Center, Delta Correctional Center, DRDC, Denver Diagnostic and Reception Center, Felony, Sallie Stephens, Greeley Tribune, Judge Thomas Quammen, DA Steve Wrenn, Weld County Court, Oil & Gas