The Anxiety of The System

This probably goes without saying, but being a prisoner is stressful - very stressful. When I was actually behind bars, there were the constant worries of wrongful encounters that ended up with me being shanked in the neck with a filed down toothbrush, the unknowns of when I would eventually be getting out, the sleepless nights wondering how your family was doing - wondering whether Sallie would stay true to her word and if Hugh Jackman showed up at my house was she really going to leave with him? And this past month, finding out just how stressful it can be to have a drug test go poorly.

As a requirement of my current situation, I have two major phone calls to make each day. One is a check-in of sorts with the Department of Corrections. It's an automated system called CWISE where I confirm that I am still employed, still at my current address and that I haven't been arrested. I am assigned a parole officer and if he ever has a message for me, he utilizes this system. The other call I have to make each morning is to see if I have been selected for a random drug test. I am on the lowest risk schedule and so I am only randomly selected once a month. These drug tests are extremely important because it is one of the ways that the Colorado Department of Corrections gauges your readiness for being out of prison - keeping in my mind that at any time, for any violation, I can be sent back to prison.

On this particular morning, I left my home and started to make my routine call-ins. One of my best friends Bevin was in town and we were headed to a golf tournament for work. I made my call to CWISE and instead of it going to the automated system, I was pushed through to an operator. As the system goes, you are only pushed through to operators for really good news OR really bad news. This particular morning I was pushed through to the operator for REALLY GOOD NEWS. She answered and said, Mr. Stephens, the parole board would like you to know that you have been approved for parole (without having to go before the board). I had been scheduled to go and see the board the following week so to get approved without having to go through that ordeal was a godsend. Bevin and I were both celebrating in my truck like we had just won the Superbowl - because we kind of had. I immediately started calling people to let them in on the good news - Sallie, the kids, more family, friends...I finally knew that I had a date for this whole adventure to come to a close! By the time I had finished making all of my announcement calls, we had arrived at the golf course and we spent an awesome day golfing.

Fast forward three days and I was once again making my routine morning call-ins. Once again, as I was working my way through the automated CWISE system, I was pushed to an operator. My heart rate always bumps up every time I'm connected with a live operator and so I braced myself for either really good news or really bad news. I figured it was more good news - I've got to be the most boring, compliant prisoner in the system. My days consist of working out, working, eating and sleeping - nothing more. But as I was connected to the operator, and I heard the message being passed on to me, my heart rate jumped to 170 beats a minute - it was REALLY BAD NEWS. "Inmate Stephens, you missed a scheduled drug test, you are currently non-compliant". My mind immediately began racing a million miles a second, racking my brain for how I could have possibly missed a drug test? And then she told me the date - last Friday - the same date that I had been told the great news about my parole date being approved. How could I have missed my drug test? And the more I thought through it, the more apparent it became that in the chaos of excitement of being told the good news, I had failed to call the drug test hotline, and as luck would have it, that was the one day in the month that I had been randomly selected drug test.

The mind games and stresses that ensue after a situation like this are nearly indescribable. I was sure that helicopters and the SWAT Team would be swooping in any second to haul me back to prison. It was an absolutely terrible feeling. I was immediately ordered by my parole officer to head straight to the nearest drug testing office - and rightfully so. From his perspective, any missed drug test probably needs to be viewed as someone purposely trying to skirt the test. I immediately drove to the nearest office, took care of the test and headed to work. Once I got to work, I sent my parole officer an email apologizing for the missed test. I didn't hear back from him but I was meeting with him 2 days later so I figured we would discuss it then.

The following morning I woke up with a huge pit in my stomach - I felt so stupid about having missed my test. And I was so worried about how it might affect my freedom. On my way to the gym I made my call-ins again. Imagine my surprise when instead of going through the automated system, I was once again sent to an operator. I wasn't terribly surprised because I had sent my parole officer the email and I thought he was simply responding to me through the system. However as the operator began to relay the message to me, my heart nearly started beating out of my chest - more REALLY BAD NEWS. "Inmate Stephens, you have tested positive for alcohol and are currently non-compliant". I was blown away - to the point where I talked back to the operator and said, "that's ridiculous, I've never drank alcohol in my entire life" - a line that I'm sure caused her to roll her eyes on the either side of the phone. As an parolee you are not allowed to consume ANY alcohol - something that I was obviously very aware of. I was absolutely devastated. Imagine my predicament. I had missed a drug test and then the subsequent drug test had come back positive for alcohol. I can imagine that in almost any other situation, you may have some credibility for arguing such a result but not as a prisoner - not as someone who has spent the last 18 months incarcerated. I was so confused. I immediately started retracing my last couple of days for ANYTHING that could have resulted in a false-positive. There was nothing. I considered my cologne, after-shave, ANYTHING that could have had an alcohol base in it that could have been on my hands. I did a quick online check for anything that I could have eaten or drank that could cause the false-positive. NOTHING. I was now certain I would be going back to prison. I immediately emailed my parole officer and told him that the drug test result had to be wrong. "I've never drank a drop of alcohol in my life",  I desperately wrote in the body of the email. No matter how well-written or desperate the email seemed, I knew that there was no hope - no way that he'd believe me. I'm sure he'd heard the exact story thousands of times. I was lost - after everything, for this to happen was inexcusable.

I never got a return email from my parole officer but I was meeting with him the following day so I figured that's where we'd discuss what the next steps were. The entire drive down to his office I kept going over in my head what may be in store for me - I was pretty much convinced they'd cuff me up and haul me back to prison as soon as I arrived at his office. After arriving at the office and exchanging formalities, he told me how concerned he was that I had not only missed a drug test but hand subsequently failed the next one. I desperately explained to him that I had indeed dropped the ball on the missed drug test but that the positive test for alcohol was simply wrong. I tried to deliver the message with power and conviction so that he'd believe me but as I watched his eyes and face I could tell he'd heard the same story before - he was not convinced and could not be convinced, no matter how long I continued to ramble. He told me that he'd had plenty of inmates have a casual beer for lunch - forgetting that they weren't allowed to. He said, "if that's what happened, just admit and it and we'll move on with a plan". I explained to him that that's not at all what happened - I haven't had ANYTHING to drink - not just since being incarcerated - but NEVER - in my entire life. At that point, I did see an opening is his eyes that made me think there was possibly a way out. He told me that he would have the sample tested more thoroughly - a 2nd test, but if they came back positive, his options would be pretty limited on a path forward. I told him that we had to get it retested - it was the only option we had.

The next 5 days of waiting were so filled with anxiety that there are not words adequate to describe how I felt. Every single minute of every one of those days was spent wondering what the outcome would be if the test came back positive again. I had no recourse, no proof, no credibility to fight the results once they came back a 2nd time. My parole officer told me that in his many years of law enforcement he had rarely seen a false-positive for alcohol - not reassuring by any stretch of the imagination.

They may have been the longest 5 days of my life but eventually the results did come back - NEGATIVE. No explanation for why the 1st test came back the way it did - but I had successfully been cleared of any suspicion of drinking while on parole.

So August 29 remains my release date back to my family in Utah...let us pray that the system has no more surprises for me.




Brandon Stephens, Weld County Jail, Wood Group, Sentenced, 5 Years, Prison, NFL, DRDC, Rifle Correctional Center, Colorado Department of Corrections, Jail, Judge Quammen, Steve Wrenn, Weld County, Executive, Oil, Gas, White Collar, Wood, BYU, Masters Degree, Colorado State University, SWIFT, Firefighter, Wildland, Sawyer, Fire, Inmate, Brandon Stokey, Miracles, Centennial Community Correctional Center, Delta Correctional Center, DRDC, Denver Diagnostic and Reception Center, Felony, Sallie Stephens, Greeley Tribune, Judge Thomas Quammen, DA Steve Wrenn, Weld County Court, Oil & Gas,. Halfway House, Centennial Community Correction Center, CCTC, Felon, 416 Fire, Silver Creek Fire, Spring Fire, Cabin Lake Fire,